Smoking is a good career move if you want early retirement and would like to use up your sick leave. You will always have something to do with your hands. To avoid headaches later in the day, always have a cigarette first thing in the morning. If you work with explosives, you have a handy method of lighting the fuse. On New Years Eve you don't have to go out to the fireworks. Just dip your cigarette into a jar of ground up sparklers. Amuse your friends and be the life of the party by blowing smoke rings. Always discard your butts in flower pots and garden beds as it helps fertilize the plants and keeps insects away. Occasional house fires will help keep firemen employed. By buying cigarettes from corner stores, you help support local businesses and help retain the fabric of our society. At the beach, children can use the butts to decorate their sand castles. Annoy neighbours you don't like by staying home and smoking heavily. Always smoke when you are
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